Ethereal
by Anae-chan
Summary: During long journeys, there are mistakes, misunderstandings, hardships, but you can make it through as long as you have someone by your side. You might not realize the importance of that someone immediately, but when you do, you have two choices; to push that person away or hold him closer. But it's not only your choice - it's his as well. (Kurogane/Fai)
1. Chapter 1 - Naïve

_Title__: Ethereal  
Dedicated to: lostdreamz82  
__Author__: Anae  
____Beta__: lostdreamz82. Thank you so much, dear, for being my very own Tsubasa-wiki and listening the ramble of the fic process and it's problems, not the mention the beta-reading itself.____ I can't thank you enough. (Even though I'll be wearing pinkish dress just for the sake of being Mokona to your Fai in the next Autumn.)_  
___Fandom__: Tsubasa Chronicle____  
__Characters/pairing__: Kurogane/Fai____  
__Rating__: PG-13 / T__  
__Spoilers__: Some slight mentions of arcs thorough the manga__  
__Disclaimer__: Unfortunately, I don't own neither Kuro nor Fai. If I did, there would've been more vampire scenes and the pairing would be official. I don't own the song either - it belongs to AFI, and it's called "Kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep".__  
__Summary__: During long journeys, there are mistakes, misunderstandings, hardships, but you can make it through as long as you have someone by your side. You might not realize the importance of that someone immediately, but when you do, you have two choices; to push that person away or hold him closer. But it's not only your choice - it's his as well.  
__A/N__: My very first Tsubasa fic. I only got into the series recently, thanks to my lovely beta, and couldn't miss the interaction between Kuro and Fai. I love the two characters (and Mokona), and my beta loves them even more. For the sake of the characters, this fic and for my dear beta, I put a lot effort into this piece of fiction. It's cut in three pieces because it turned out to be longer than I expected, but worry not, the rest will be up soon.  
__If you end up reading this, I hope you leave a review to say that you were there. Thorns and roses are also more than appreciated, since like I said, this is my first fic of the fandom. Anyway, hope you enjoy.__  
_

* * *

_Chapter I - Naïve_

* * *

_"This is what I thought,  
so think me naïve"_

* * *

"_Even if he smiles, from now on, that doesn't mean he has accepted it."_

"_I understand."_

It wasn't before Fai woke up that the ninja realized how absolutely wrong he had been.

* * *

"_Good morning, Kurogane."_

One word.

One word was enough to throw Kurogane off balance. He hadn't expected everything to be fine, not after what he'd done – saved the idiot's life by becoming his prey. He had expected a false smile – which was there, playing on magician's lips, even now – and… Kurogane didn't know what, but definitely not to be addressed by his full name.

Despite how many times he had told Fai to call him normally – so often that it was nothing but a bad joke anymore – for the mage to actually do that, after all they had been through together… It hurt.

Like hell.

After exchanging a few empty, meaningless words with the newly born vampire, Kurogane took his leave, leaving the magician to himself – surely Fai had some thinking to do, it wasn't every day that you got your eyeball plunged out by someone who was supposed to be your comrade and as a result, instead of having your death wish granted, you were turned into a vampire, with your supposed friend as your prey. Yeah – Fai might want to now think about what exactly happened and what threw everything into the state of chaos, everything – this world, their bonds – was in.

Kurogane had his time to dwell on it already – he knew better than to stare into the past, to stay blind to the passing moment – but he needed to chew this change in the magician's attitude a bit.

It didn't take a genius to understand that Fai was putting distance between them, forcefully pushing Kurogane away – probably to protect him from ghosts of the magician's past – but whatever it was, it didn't change the fact that their bonds were being changed.

Or rather, carefully being ripped apart.

Once upon a time, princess Tomoyo had told Kurogane that words could cut deeper than any sword – it wasn't before today that he understood the meaning of those words.

Because no sword possibly could cut this deep without killing.

* * *

After leaving Tokyo, the four of them arrived in Infinity and ended up taking part in human chess – dangerous as it was, they still didn't have that much to worry about; the three of them could fight and Sakura was more set on her chosen task than ever.

However, their bonds were severed – separation had made its way to their group, damaging everything and everyone. Seeing how awkward and hurt Sayoran and Sakura were around each other, Kurogane and Fai came to a silent understanding – their bond might've not been the same as before, but it didn't mean they didn't agree about protecting the kids as much as they possibly could. Fai looked after the fragile princess and Kurogane did his best to reassure the kid that all this, wasn't his fault, and that things weren't beyond repair.

Even if it felt that they were.

Fai still did speak to Kurogane – not that he had much of a choice, they were all in this mess together – but things had changed. Fai had completely stopped calling Kurogane by weird names – now the mage only addressed the ninja with his full name.

It bothered Kurogane more than he'd ever admit, but some things couldn't be helped. Like the fact that the magician was now a vampire – not irreversibly, thank heavens – but that he needed to drink blood in order to survive, and for better or for worse, only Kurogane's blood would suffice.

It was a thing they hadn't spoken a word about. Both of them had let it drop – for too long, Kurogane realized this one night, when he found Fai sitting back next to the wall.

"What's wrong?"

There was no answer, just a shaky headshake. Fai's light bangs were covering his face and he was breathing heavily – Kurogane was about to call the mage, but instead took a look outside from the window. It was a beautiful, quiet night with no stars in the sky – the whole view of the city sky was painted dark blue, almost black – if not for the pale light from the _full moon _shining down onto the sleeping town.

Before Kurogane had a chance to say anything though, Fai had pushed himself up from the floor. The mage's back was presented to the ninja as he spoke, hand still on the wall for support. "Everything is fine, Kurogane."

Fai had time to take exactly two steps before Kurogane spoke. "Oh really?" Soft noise echoed in the silent room, and suddenly, Fai's emotions and feelings were overruled by alien sensations, all because of one thing.

The smell of blood. It overruled everything - he wanted to see and touch and feel and taste…

Fai slumped back against the wall and down to the floor, eyes squeezed shut and hand on his mouth – as if to bury the bloodlust stirring inside. Fai opened his one eye – now golden and serpent-like, a vampire's eye – to glare at Kurogane. He realized his mistake in seconds; he couldn't look away from the dark, red liquid that was trailing down on ninja's wrist, dropping to the floor soundlessly, slowly building a pond there. To human, it was almost soundless – but in vampire's ears, it was more like someone banging on a door.

"Liar", Kurogane said, without any malice in his voice and walked closer, only to see Fai trying to back down, desperately trying to wish the wall gone so he could do what he was used to – to run away. "Just drink."

"No."

It was a desperate, forced sound which was barely understandable – having his hand on top of his mouth it was smothering his speech. Kurogane said nothing, just stretched out his hand more – a headshake was his answer.

The ninja had never had much patience and the little he had was wearing thin – the mage was just an idiot to deny his body's needs – especially when he couldn't even tear his golden eye away from the blood that was slowly flooding from the self-inflicted wound.

"Don't be an idiot", Kurogane snapped, his good hand hitting the wall next to Fai's head as mage winced, effectively blocking any escape route there might've been. "What do you think will happen if one of us gets injured during matches?"

"I can hold it in. It's not that bad during the day."

It was a weak argument, almost a lie, and they both knew it.

"When you can't even look away from this?" Kurogane moved his hand, and Fai's only eye followed. Shame filled the golden eye before it was squeezed shut. "If you keep this up, you'll end up hurting someone", Kurogane told the other bluntly – the mage didn't care for his own life, so bringing up the fact that he'd die if he'd drink someone else than Kurogane's blood was pointless. But the idiot did care for their companions. A lot. "In worst case, the kid. Or the princess."

Fai's eye flew open, and Kurogane met possibly the most honest, scared gaze that he had ever seen – and he was a man who had seen and killed many. "I'd never…"

"When you can't even look away?"

The mage flinched as if he'd been hit.

It was a low blow to bring up the kids, especially the princess, but Kurogane had no plans in letting the magician die, not after all they've been through. Plus his patience was really wearing thin – Fai had always been good at testing his limits, willingly or not – and this farce had gone on long enough.

Kurogane lifted his bleeding wrist to Fai's face, red eyes looking at the golden one, deserting between the ninja's red eyes and the red liquid floating from his wrist. "Drink", Kurogane told him with a commanding tone – there was no room left for arguments.

Fai glanced the ninja before obeying – then he pressed his lips on the bleeding wrist. With one hand, he held Kurogane's wrist in place while the other held Kurogane's arm as he licked, tip of the tongue barely touching. It was an alien sensation for both of them – not to mention Fai never wanted to do any of this – so the mage was set on just licking a couple of drops and then leaving, but the hunger grew as he tasted blood. After all, he had been in the state of self-inflected starvation for far too long.

Fueled by need, his movements became more purposeful – his lips pressed on the wrist, sucking the liquid, his tongue moved over the sensitive skin to gather the drops.

For his surprise, Kurogane found himself watching the process – it was a weird, strange sensation to have someone licking your wrist and sucking blood out of your veins. Kurogane didn't quite like it, but didn't hate it – he knew he should've – either. In a way, it fascinated him to have the mage on his knees, honest with himself for once.

Some minutes later the mage – vampire – was done. In silence, he stood up, licking the last trails of blood from his lips and fingers – then he blinked, and the golden eye revered back to its original sky blue.

Fai didn't say a word, but before he left, he glared Kurogane. That one blue eye was filled with constricted emotions, but it was possible to read a few – self-loathing, shame, possibly fear. And hate.

After the magician was gone, Kurogane moved to the window to see the beautiful night sky. This dark sky, hovering over the advanced city seemed so different from the one back in home; the sky back there was somehow more serene and calming. Within seconds, Kurogane was lost in thoughts; he was thinking of home, of his late parents, his mother's murderer, the two Sayorans, the princess, the mage...

Despite everything that had happened, Kurogane found himself being pulled back to present in form of one thought multiple times; Of whom the hate in Fai's blue eyes was aimed at – to Kurogane or to the mage himself?


	2. Chapter 2 - Thought

___A/N__: __The pairing itself is starting to bloom here, carefully... I have to admit, every now and then, I find Fai difficult to write, much due to drastic hop from happy-lucky-go to serious. (Thank heavens I've had training with Lavi (D. Gray-Man) before this.) Anyways, this is second chapter, one more is to come, hope you enjoy!_

* * *

_Chapter II – Thought_

* * *

_"This is what I thought,  
I thought you'd need me"_

* * *

"_This is payback. Kuro-sama."_

And suddenly, the things were as they were supposed to be.

* * *

"After my body became like this, I seem to be more sensitive to the scent of blood."

Damn the mage's vampire senses.

"- you're in pain."

…And the ability to read people as well.

And not only daring to hit Kurogane in the head but alsobitch about how painful hiding things from others could be. "…You're one to talk", Kurogane grumbled back – it was Fai who had hidden everything from them – his past, his knowledge of their journey, of the one behind it.

But since there was a real smile on the magician's face as he answered – not the fake the ninja had gotten used to seeing – Kurogane decided, not for the first or the last time that everything had been worth the trouble. "I'm the one to talk."

Kurogane let out a sigh and took off both his headgear and cloak – no point in hiding something that had already been found out – only to find Fai looking at the joint of the mechanical arm and flesh with worried, golden eye. With serpent-like pupil, on top of that.

Come to think of it… "It's been a while, hasn't it?"

There was a confused look in golden eye, but it was cleared as soon as the ninja stood up and picked up his sword using his left hand – which resulted to a grunt, moving the mechanical arm did hurt. "Wah, wait wait wait, Kuro-sama –"

Fai gripped Kurogane's mechanical arm, hard enough to stop the ninja. For a moment, the pair stared at each other – silent fight of wills, since they both could be stubborn – until Fai let go with a theatrical sigh. "Fine, fine, I get your point. But Kuro-rin –" A hand was gently pressed on the shoulder where cold metal met warm skin, red liquid running down. It gave off a funny feeling – part of the shoulder barely felt the pressure whereas the rest felt the warmth of another's skin. " – you're already bleeding, so no need to make another cut, right?"

Another staring competition – relatively shorter than the previous one – ended at Kurogane's grumbling as he sat back to the bed. "Fine." The ninja wasn't too happy with this, but even though he loathed admitting it, the mage was right – his hand was hurting and moving it resulted to bleeding. So yes, no point in inflicting another wound. Plus, the worried look on Fai's eye unnerved Kurogane – the ninja wasn't used to seeing that expression on people's faces when they looked at him; awe, and hate were more common, but not worry – the only one to look at the ninja like that, apart from the mage now, had been princess Tomoyo. And Kurogane remembered far too well the look on Fai's eye when they left Celes – it was an expression he never wanted to see again.

Fai crawled to the bed as well. He briefly glanced the ninja before licking the blood trail that was running down on Kurogane's skin. Fai's one hand was on the artificial arm, the other on ninja's thigh in order to gain some leverage – the position was awkward for both of them, but since Fai refused to apply any pressure on Kurogane's shoulder, not wanting to hurt the man, it wasn't like they had much of a choice.

Like many times before, instead of looking at Fai, Kurogane stared straight forward. Having the magician drink blood from his wrist was something that he was used to – it had taken some time, but nowadays it was somewhat common occurrence, something that he didn't need to pay attention to. Both Kurogane's mind and body knew by now that Fai was no threat, nor should he be treated as such – that it was okay to let him close.

But to have Fai drink blood from his shoulder was a different thing altogether; a warm, careful tongue against swollen, sensitive skin, tongue disappearing, partially or wholly, but not quite so – due to the not-quite-feeling mechanical arm – and coming back, partially colder than before, due to the metal. It was a weird feeling – awkward but not unwelcome, not quite – sensual but not sexual. Not to mention how slow and caring the mage was being, careful not to hurt, neither with his hands nor with his teeth as he held ninja on the place, licking the red liquid from the metal and skin.

After some time, Fai pulled back, wiping the blood around on his lips to his fingers and then licking them clean. His right hand was still on Kurogane's arm – the mechanical one – golden eye still set on the bloody joint.

"I know you don't want to hear it, but I'm sorry."

"I don't re–"

"I know." Fai's stern, caring voice cut off Kurogane's words easily. The long fingers trailed down the junction of metal and skin, ever so carefully. "I know you don't regret anything, but still, I'm sorry."

His hand – the one not on ninja's shoulder – closed into a fist as he finally lifted his gaze to see Kurogane eye to eye. The one golden eye – sky blue looked so much better on him – was filled with emotions – care, worry, anxiety, something that neither of them dared to name but what they had seen in Sayoran's eyes when he looked at Sakura – as he spoke, or at the very least, tried. "Kuro-rin, I…" The words died before they came out. It was such a simple phrase, yet so hard for someone who had lived his life in fearing to believe in others. "I…"

And that was the last Kurogane heard, before both of them fell into a deep, deep sleep – all thanks to the time lapse in this Clow Country, created by their enemy, Fei Wong.


	3. Chapter 3 - Keep

___A/N__: __Last chapter. Hope you enjoyed the whole fic. I really like how it turned out in the end, even if I had more than a few problems with characterizations and blood drinking. So if you're reading this piece, please leave your thorns and roses to reviews. It'd really mean a lot to me, knowing whether I could write these two well.  
Anyway, here you go, hope you enjoy!__  
_

* * *

_Chapter III – Keep_

* * *

_"I'd promise you a heart,  
you'd promise to keep"_

* * *

It wasn't too long after they left the Clow country – this time leaving Sakura behind; it was the girl's own choice after all – that Fai found Kurogane staring at the sky of the world they were currently in. It was a world that reminded Nihon quite a lot – the atmosphere and landscape were the same, not to mention a girl that they had met earlier – a striking image of princess Tomoyo.

"Could it be that you're homesick, Kuro-pii?"

"Shut up", the ninja grumbled as an answer. He was sitting on fresh grass – it had rained just a couple of hours ago – and leaning against the wooden panel, red eyes gazing at through the blooming cherry trees to the night sky and beyond.

Kurogane didn't regret his choice of leaving to travel with Sayoran again, even after Fei Wong was dead and peace somewhat reigned again – after all, the kid still needed all the support he could get, not to mention that Kurogane was far from pleased of the choice the other Sayoran and Sakurahadmade.

To put it simply, he wanted to help. Not that he'd admit it out loud, though.

"You know, next time we arrive in Nihon, you can stay if you like", Fai said softly as he walked next to the ninja. "Sayoran is almost an adult, and I am looking after him, too."

"And who'd look after you then?"

For the longest moment, Fai just stared Kurogane, open-mouthed. Inwardly, the ninja cringed – this was one of the moments when it would've been wiser to think before speaking and not the other way around.

It didn't help any that after recovering – which took far too little time to ninja's liking – Fai laughed, soft and warm. "Could it be that Kuro-wan cares about me?"

Of course Kurogane did, but that wasn't something he could say out loud, could he? "Who would –"

Before the ninja could register, the stupid mage was kneeling in front of him, staring him with those blue eyes and stupid smile on his face, daring even to _giggle_. Fai's eyes were glinting with mischief and his lips curved upwards as he spoke. "You're blushing!"

Kurogane quickly turned his head to the side – the next wooden panel seemed fairly interesting – and it irritated him that the mage was right. He could feel the slight warmth on his cheeks, and of course, there was no way it was going away now that the magician had pointed it out.

"Could it actually be…" Kurogane was set on staring at the wooden panel, hoping that willing the magician away would work – it never did – so he couldn't see Fai's face. "…that Kuro-tan likes me?"

The ninja's head snapped to right and he found himself staring into pair of carefully blank, beautiful blue eyes. Kurogane open his mouth to say something, anything, but the mage beat him to speaking – definitely not for the first or the last time. Fai's tone was quieter, an octave lower than usual – he was serious. "You know, I like Kuro-sama. A lot."

It wasn't the first time Kurogane had been confessed to – there had been one or two girls when he had been just a boy – but it definitely was the first in many, many years. And like at the time when he had been just a kid, he didn't know what to answer, now either.

Fai waited patiently for a moment, but then he gave a smile – painfully false – and stood up. "Ah, don't mind me. Just wishful thinking. So… Forget it, right?" The mage cocked his head to side, giving another false smile before turning away.

In Kurogane's mind, the wheels were turning – Fai had tried to say this before, after what had happened in Celes but back then, the rewinding day had thrown them to sleep and the issue was never brought to surface again. But it had given the ninja time to think – and he had, subconsciously at least.

Kurogane did care about the mage – enough not to think twice about sacrificing something in order to save Fai's life. Of course he would've done the same for the kid or the princess – but somehow, it wouldn't have been the same.

The ninja ruffled his black hair as he stood up, hurrying to catch up to the magician. It was no use to overthink things like this. Kurogane found the mage standing next to a pond – the fading light was reflected from the water, the few living things beneath the view creating ripples on the water's surface. The faint wind was playing with the blonde hair – the back of it was fairly long now, tied back in a thin ponytail – it alone proved that they had been on this journey for quite a time already.

The ninja stopped a few steps behind the mage. "I do care." That made Fai turn on his heels – being too lost in his thoughts, the mage hadn't even noticed Kurogane coming. So when he turned, there was a surprise written all over his face. "You think I'd become your prey _and _given my arm if I didn't?"

It took a good few moments for Fai to gather his thoughts – Kurogane used that time to close the distance between them, coming to stand in front of the mage, stepping into his personal space. "But…" Fai blurted, not knowing how to continue – for once, he was rendered speechless. "I thought… Since you… I…"

Kurogane let out a sigh – Fai couldn't make up a sensible sentence, and the ninja already knew from experience that there was no way to effectively shut the mage up.

So he wrapped an arm around magician's waist, pulled him closer and kissed him.

Fai's eyes widened and he tensed for a second before relaxing and kissing back. It was a slow, leisure kiss – for showing the other how important he was, that he was one of the most, if not the most, cherished person.

When the two parted, the sky blue eyes met dark red and the time stood still.

"Wipe that smirk off from your face, it's freaking me out."

Fai burst into a full-hearted laughter, sidestepping and poking the Kurogane's chest without any reason at all while the ninja tried to swap the intruding hand away, stepping backwards on each step the magician took forward. "But Kuro-rin, this was all your…"

Splash.

Ninja or not, Kurogane didn't always have luck with him and neither did Fai – there had been a loose rock at the side of the pond, and as luck would have it, Kurogane stepped on it, losing his balance. That wasn't something that couldn't have been fixed, but since Fai was stepping closer on each step and the ninja lost his balance, they both ended up falling into serene pond – Fai with a yelp – interrupting the rippling water.

Kurogane lifted his head up from the water, pushing himself to a sitting position, coughing the liquid out of his lungs. He was far from amused, and having an amused mage – now more or less a partner – on top of him didn't help any.

"You…"

"What are you doing?" Both of their gazes snapped to the few other quests staying at the house – two young girls, about Sayoran's age – who were now standing outside. Apparently the two of them had made enough noise to make themselves noticed. Before either of them could even start explaining, the girl spoke again, color rising to her cheeks. "You two… I didn't realize… Get a room!"

"Wha–" Kurogane started, looking up to Fai who looked back, as confused as the ninja – until realization sank in. With a quick move, Kurogane pushed Fai backwards – the mage didn't mind, he was biting his lip, corners of his mouth twitching.

"We're not–"

But Kurogane was too late, the girl was already stomping back in, leaving the other girl behind. "Wait, sis –"

Sayoran, with Mokona on his shoulder, stepped out as the girl went in, and the door was slammed close before the sister of the girl could finish her sentence.

With a sigh, she turned to look at the two men. "I apologize for my sister. Also…" She paused, gazing both of them from head to toe, caught between wondering whether she should find the situation hilarious or awkward. "Sorry if we interrupted something."

"I told you already, we're not –"

Kurogane was silenced by a kiss on lips.

He turned to glare Fai and was presented with the mage sitting on pond, most of the clothing wet, the tips of the blonde ponytail as well – the water made it look darker than it really was, but now it also made a heavier, prettier contract with those shining blue eyes. "Except that we are."

Kurogane had absolutely no comeback to that – the stupid mage was right. Except that now the other guests thought them as perverts making out in a pond or something equally idiotic…

"Kuro-sama is blushing again!"

The ninja opened his mouth to even try to say something back, just to have water splashed on his face.

Now that was it.

"You're dead!"

But Fai was already up from the pond, laughing as he ran to the Sayoran and Mokona. "Wah, so scary, Kuro-sama is going to kill me! Sayoran-kun, Mokona-chan, heelp!"

Of course the pink ball was in Fai's arms within seconds, and the two disappeared to the house, leaving very confused Sayoran behind. The boy looked after them before turning to Kurogane in hope of an explanation.

But what was there really to explain?

Kurogane stood up, stepping out of the pond. He was literally dripping water, not to mention there seemed to be some seaweed stuck in his clothes – the mage was so going to get it tonight.

Yet, Kurogane hadn't missed the warmth and happiness in Fai's smile and eyes when he had kissed him – not to mention the whole-hearted laughter when he ran back inside with questioning, ridiculously happy Mokona in his arms.

Even if he'd never say it out loud, the ninja thought that it was worth that smile and laughter, that happiness, to get wet and embarrassed in front of strangers – hell, he had given his hand to protect that precious life. And now, he had given his heart, too.

As Kurogane stepped in, he ruffled the kid's hair. "Nothing new. Get back to bed."

Indeed, nothing had changed – everything was as it had always been – as it should be.

And Kurogane was set on protecting that.

But now, he needed a shower, set of warm clothes and then revenge to that mage… In form of a bed, perhaps...

"_This is what I brought you,  
this you can keep."_


End file.
